In two days I have to say goodbye to some of the best people I know, some students and some co-workers. It hasn't quite hit me with the finality it deserves. I've always avoided saying goodbye by convincing myself that these relationships are merely making a turn, away from constant physical presence to long-distance attentiveness. To a certain extent, I had been rightly persuaded. This time, it is different. Between my students being too young and my relationships with my co-workers a little premature, I see no avenue for continuity. Alas, this goodbye might just be a final farewell.
I never want to forget how I fell in love twenty-five times over, five days a week. There were days I almost cried, trying so hard to contain my anger, only to be softened by one apologetic look. I would revel in the quiet of the holidays, only to find myself emptied and ready to be filled again by their presence.
Twelve months ago I was so uncertain of the future. I had no idea God had such great love in store for me.
I've been meaning to write but all my days seem to meld together until I can no longer distinguish yesterday from the day before or from the week that passed. More agonizingly, I have no clear idea on how all my time was spent. Interestingly, even as the school year winds down, and we go from project to project, there's still more work to be done - in addition to all the summer school business and moving to Ankara.
I shall try to come back and write again this weekend. In the meantime, I have to flip my calendar once again. I can already see the day I graduated last year. At least the tulips are much improved.