I watched Florida drive away in a minivan and now I'm all alone. I could say with some regret, "If only I had studied while in Manila." But I won't, because I wouldn't mean it. I wouldn't exchange that time for a million weeks in all the theme parks of the world. It's probably better this way. I should be able to study much more efficiently now. At least there are five empty rooms in the house without computers/internet where I can set myself away from distraction.

I had a panic attack this morning after scoring abysmally on my first practice test. Sometimes I think maybe it's not meant to be - that I'm not supposed to be a doctor. But I forget that that language is reserved for romantic love, or things that have more to do with luck (which I suppose includes romance). Not for life's dreams. We may not be 'meant to be' with certain people we strongly desire. We may not be 'meant to be' lottery winners. But how the rest of our lives unfolds, that is mostly up to us.

Thanks to Dita and Jen for cheering me up! I'm only too lucky to be surrounded by people who love me everywhere I go.

I should stop blogging.

Happy birthday, Ma!