tonight's the night that shit's going to hit the fan...not if i can help it! the summer motto's been fun, fun, fun so i'm not going to let anything ruin the perfect summer memories. need to pack today, but more importantly, i must stow away all this emotional baggage that's been dragging since last week. i've spent too long hanging out on the brink of falling in love and now that certain events have forced me to make a decision, take the plunge or abandon post, i suddenly fear the loss of the comfort of complacently, indulgently grazing this place. but as with most things all i can say is "oh well" and move on. i just need to let it go. what's the point in holding on if neither he nor i can brave the risk of pursuing this?

for what it's worth, i feel as if i'm handling this much better than freshman year fiasco. maybe i like d so much more than a.