this will probably be my last post for a long time. aside from the fact that i must focus on studying from now until the 19th, i would probably have nothing interesting to write for all of august. i'm coping with missing home pretty well. i must be since i'm constantly smiling. it's kind of amazing - i feel as if at the back of my eyes is this recording of all the things that's happened these past two months, on perpetual playback. my cousins must think i've been pretty spacey of late. of course i miss everyone, but i don't feel at all that i've lost anything. in fact, i gained a lot. i love them all so much more now. i didn't even know that there could be more of this...
anyway, pictures are up. please visit my multiply site (see links). it will make you laugh, i promise! summer craziness only the way we know how - no limits, just reckless abandon.
as for now, i'll leave you with these two songs from the OC, the soundtrack of my life. as David mockingly noted, everything goes back to the OC...
Hello Sunshine
(So hard to say goodbye
Meaning it today
I've said goodbye before
Leaving you alone
By the sea
So hard to say goodbye)
Hello sunshine
Come into my life
In honesty it's been a while
Since we had reason left to smile
Hello sunshine
Come into my life
I'm a minger
You're a minger too
So come on minger
I want to ming with you
In honesty it's been a while
Since we had reason left to smile
Hello sunshine
Come into my life
You're not so innocent
You're a disgrace to your country
If you fled a million miles I'd chase you for a day
(If I could be bothered)
Hello sunshine
Come into my life
Honey and the Moon
Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up
now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call
I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message
On your answering machine
But right now
Everything is turning blue
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon
And right nowI wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight
We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night
But right now
Everything you want is wrong
And right now
All your dreams are waking up
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight
We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang
around
Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I'm falling down
But right now
Everything is turning blue
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives
residual high from my stay in manila has made me forget how much i hate new york in the summer. it was always too hot and the city offered no place for refuge or amusement due to the deluge of tourists. but now everything is foreign and familiar all at once: the neat rows of identical houses, the american cars, the clean streets, the welcome summer heat. i'm lovin just about everything right now.
my trip was uneventful. i couldn't meet up with my cousin because i missed the train to yokohama. after mailing her a care package i went straight to the hotel, bathed and crashed on the bed. i worried that i wouldn't be able to spend the night alone - not after all the goodbyes (said and unsaid), not after everything i've just left behind. but i have no more room for sadness. this summer is for happiness.
prado thanks for kidnapping me every tuesday and all the other bloomfield days. i know and you know my occasional resistance was a mere farce. we're crazy. that's us! chuck shame, dignity and self-respect at the door. embarassment is our middle name and scandal is the name of the game. yns good times and bad, i'm with you girl. i'll miss our random philosophical ramblings. i love you, i love myself, what's not to love when you're self-aware? so much for swearing off alcohol - but all in moderation. "beer is like gold" - i could only wish i had that kind of passion. david token white boy, thanks for letting me make fun of you all the time - as well as laughing every time! you were our ticket to just about everything, above all the band's circle itself. to you i've already said too much one hundred times over. lucky for me you're "amiable" ;-)
prashimodo, athens, jer i will see you east coasters very soon. don't be mad at me for not spending as much of the summer with you because i'm sure to be visiting you individually within the next few months. it's high time i drop my lazy you-come-to-me attitude. RI, PA, DC - watch out coz i'm coming to town!
nix, jells so many plans, so little done. oh well. i look forward to going crazy with you two come fall. we'll show mae and hee won how it's done in manila!
kresta mama-ba. my oldest friend. i love that we haven't changed - not in the ways that really matter at least. i love that we can talk with the same intimacy as if we'd never been apart. i love how you understand me so well. i love you. talk to you soon.
mike mike mike. since you hardly spent anytime with me this summer i have nothing to say to you. call me when you get in.
random summer moments - car rides - table reservations for alex dumas, sandra cisneros and isabel allende - bloomfields! - dancing - dancing with louie - singing with louie - talking to louie - wearing a louie shirt - redbox "i will survive", "dancing queen" - redbox lapdance from danny - 21st birthday serenade from bollywood live band - getting lost to punta - "never" lying to my parents - pool pics - falling into the pool! - marco polo - july 19 - loitering in eastwood - waiting by the parking lot exit - "i get lost.. in your eyes" - "for you i bleed myself dry" / "bakit ngayon ka lang" - sleepovers - hi ma'am, haiku - jay jay sando moment =) - white chicks "makin my way downtown..." (just a thought: how fast do you think vanessa carlton can walk if she expects she can get as far as a thousand miles by "tonight"?) - making fun of everyone - "why not?" - meeting the parents "tita!" - bday surprise for yna - david's wowowee face - david's dance - fighting - making up - friendster stalking
comment and add!
i'll post pictures up soon. love love love!
tonight's the night that shit's going to hit the fan...not if i can help it! the summer motto's been fun, fun, fun so i'm not going to let anything ruin the perfect summer memories. need to pack today, but more importantly, i must stow away all this emotional baggage that's been dragging since last week. i've spent too long hanging out on the brink of falling in love and now that certain events have forced me to make a decision, take the plunge or abandon post, i suddenly fear the loss of the comfort of complacently, indulgently grazing this place. but as with most things all i can say is "oh well" and move on. i just need to let it go. what's the point in holding on if neither he nor i can brave the risk of pursuing this?
for what it's worth, i feel as if i'm handling this much better than freshman year fiasco. maybe i like d so much more than a.
we're just kids!
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we always take the opportunity to hurt ourselves and the ones we love. what is it about pain that makes us easily forget how it hurts? we pick our poisons and nurse our demons. we fall, cry, pick ourselves up just to do it all again. it's almost in vain to ask - for what purpose? we forgive. we understand. we let it go. "the laughter keeps us coming back for more." it's easier to forget. it's easier not to think. sometimes i'm also convinced it's better.
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if i can't be a rockstar, i'll just follow one around. my summer in manila is drawing to a close which means my groupie days are nearly over. in the past 6 weeks we've come from sketchy stalkers waiting by the parking lot exit to (although still sketchy) talk all-night with with the band till they kick us out buddies. goodbye, louie.
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Belated happy.
FRIDAY NIGHT: Good Charlotte
I'm in love with my friends. I wish I can marry all of them. Prado, Yna, Dave - consider this an open marriage proposal. Let's be Mormons in Massachusetts!
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Currently an insomniac. Five days of fun, nine hours of sleep. I've been having some trouble lately. Sleep account: Tuesday night - 2 hours post excessive EtOH consumption; Wednesday night - Zero; Thursday night - 2 hours; Friday night - 5 hours (only after a 3-hour drive, train ride and a rock concert). What to do? What to do? I've tried watching really boring movies, even documentaries - but they always end up ultimately stealing my interest and distracting me from my goal. Hot milk? Can't. I'm lactose intolerant. Homework never failed to put me to sleep, especially when topped off with a tight deadline. I probably sleep more during the term than this summer.
Time to go again. Fantastic Four.
doesn't this picture make it look as if our high school life was the story behind the O.C. Okay, fine, maybe Beverly Hills 90210. No? Saved by the Bell? Saturday Night Live (spoofing one of the aforementioned shows)?. This was taken on my 21st birthday which was the best birthday I've ever had! Second only to my McDonald's Cowboy Party at age 8 - just kidding, I never had one of those. Kudos to Danny @ http://danielgimenez.com for taking the best pictures! We miss you already!!
Today I made some progress. I finished a chapter in the morning and I plan to do three more before I sleep! I also managed to calculate how many episodes I can still (re)watch of the O.C., optimize my entire T.V. schedule and organize a regular vegging out with Prashina. I really am hopeless and it really isn't something one should be proud of.
On other news, country music is growing on me, if Ryan Adams can be called country. My Windows Media Player insists on classifying him as such but I suppose I'll have to ask Jenny to be sure. "Be my winding wheel/well the children laugh and sing/a song that ushers in her driving rain" What exactly does that mean? I have much to learn about the Midwest is for sure.
This week we (Nicole and I) are going to start going around high schools to talk to students about applying abroad. I'm somewhat torn about this project. I don't want to pull out the best minds from the country; or even suggest that US schools are better. But in the end, it's their choice what they do with their lives - we're not telling them what to do, we're just presenting them with options. I do think a fresh perspective is what is needed, and there's just too much clutter and noise in this country to achieve anything that will resemble solutions.
For now, more TV awaits. My favorite soap is on.
not that anyone would care to stalk me...ahem... jen and shelby..ahem (i know for a fact that you two are up-to-3rd-degree-friends' livejournal/xanga addicts).
Not much of what I had planned has been going on lately: not much MCAT studying, not much thesis reading, not much getting out of bed. Instead, there has been a whole lot of window shopping, movie watching, band stalking, eating, drinking, sleeping... I'm hoping that will change in the next twenty-four hours, mostly because my exam is in less than two months and my prospectus is due in less than three.
Despite all the backlog, this summer is still on a steep upward trajectory - Abu Dhabi with my sister in August, Florida with Ging and Nikki in September! Nikki's already taken me to Boracay early June (see photo) - there can never be enough sand and sun in one summer (desert or beach).
Along with that, I've got several projects in the works - 1) MCAT 2) Thesis 3) Parokya 4) Recruiting 5) Photography 6) Song writing - it's definitely going to be a productive summer!
But before I can get started, I'm just going to get more movie-watching done. Aviator is on.